sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by sicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
those songs that start in one earbud and flow into the next
"You’ll find Mr. Right someday"
show up to your funeral like
"My boyfriend/girlfriend won’t let me"
What was that?
How lovely congratulations on your 3rd parental guardian”